Obituary of Audrey Cooper

B I O G R A P H Y COOPER: Audrey Cooper passed away suddenly on Sunday, September 25, 2005 near Kitscoty, Alberta at the age of 74 years. Audrey Cooper is survived by: her loving husband Ralph; two sons: Glen and his wife Dorothy; Dwayne and his wife Cathy all of Kitscoty; one daughter-in-law Doreen Cooper of Edmonton; eight grandchildren; one great grandchild; one brother Ernest Lang of Kitscoty and one sister Kathie and her husband David Jack also of Kitscoty as well as numerous other relatives. Audrey was predeceased by one son Barry in 2001. The funeral service for Audrey was conducted from the Kitscoty School Gymnasium, Kitscoty, Alberta on Thursday, October 6, 2005 at 11:00 A.M. with Reverend Bob Aldrich officiating. A eulogy was given by Calvin Pinder. Hymns sung were “In The Garden,” and “There’ll Be Peace In The Valley,” accompanied on the organ by Donna Eyben. A Forrester honor guard was held. Honorary pallbearers were Grandchildren: Brenda Rieland, Kerry (Shelley) and Carter Cooper, Sharlyn Cooper, Michelle Nelson, Connie Cooper, Leslie Cooper, Glenda Cooper and Chrissy Cooper. Active pallbearers were: Mark Nelson, Brad Rieland, Kerry Cooper, Kevin Jack, Lennie Jack and Tony Graham. Eulogy as given by Calvin Pinder The lives of my family, the Cooper, Lang and Jack families have been wound together for a long time. I know them, they are all very good people, so to be asked to say these words today is an honour, it is very humbling. Audrey Marion Cooper was born to Elmer and Kathleen Lang on July 30, 1931. She was the oldest of three children; a brother, Ernest, and a sister Kathie. She went to Kinnaird school, and Ralph went to Kinnaird School, so they had known each other for some time before things like marriage came up. Bit things like marriage did come up, and on October 20 of 1950, Ralph and Audrey were married. Like many others before and since their time, they did whatever they had to do to stay farming. In the fall of 1951, they moved to Kitscoty where Ralph worked at Ken Gray’s garage, and Audrey worked for the telephone company. Then in 1953, Glen came along. In 1955 Barry, and in 1958 Dwayne. And Audrey’s joy was realized; she had a family to care for. All three boys went on to have families of their own, Glen with Dorothy, Barry with Doreen, and Dwayne with Cathy. Audrey had eight grandchildren, Brenda, Kerry, Sharlyn, Michelle, Connie, Leslie, Glenda and Chrissy. And this year, the most amazing thing: a great grandchild. Mom talked to Audrey all the time, and Carter was the most exciting thing in her world, another generation of family. For Audrey, family was the most important thing, This past Sunday, I spent the afternoon with Audrey’s family. They are my family too. We talked about things that Audrey meant to us, things that Audrey did, the space that she filled in our lives. She was always organized. She was a good cook, a good gardener, she was always cleaning up behind everyone. I was told how she would mend bags of socks for her grandchildren, she knitted afghans, knitted sweaters, and she always had a “care package” ready for all of them. Over and over, it was made clear that she took delight in the mundane tasks that would make a rich environment for children and grandchildren to grow and flourish. The mortar between the bricks. And she delighted in it. This is the marvel that was Audrey. She also was keenly aware of the value of community the people who you helped when they were in a time of need, who would help you in yours. People who shared your place, your time, who went through the same things as you. She was a member of the Forrester’s , and of the Kitscoty Senior’s Centre, participating in floor curling and card parties an such, but more important than that, if anyone needed help with meals, if it would do good to visit someone in the hospital, anything like that, Audrey did not hesitate to get it done. I don’t know anyone who spent more time visiting people who were in the hospital, the nursing home, in keeping up with people who shared her time and place. She brought a bright light to those who needed help to see where they were. That Sunday evening, I was on the combine when I got the news. My first thought was, no, that can’t be right, it has to be someone else. Gradually, it sank in that it could be them. All week long I thought of the family, the things they had to do, what they were going through, it sank in that Audrey was gone, and that my thoughts and prayers would be centered on Ralph, and on the rest of the family. But it didn’t make any sense. I could not reconcile how this could happen to such a vibrant and vital couple as Audrey and Ralph. This past Sunday morning, Dwayne called me to ask if I would give the eulogy for his mother. I could not answer him right away. I had to think about that, and I had to call him back later. But something happened that morning, and it was made plain to me that I should do this. I called him back, told him I would, then we talked for awhile, and he told me about how Saturday when they got home from Edmonton, he thought he’d better close the lids on his bins. While he was up there, the ladder fell down, and he was stuck on top of a bin for a half hour, in the rain, waving at cars on the highway for help, yelling for help, there he was. In that moment, the whole thing clicked for me. I believe Audrey pushed that ladder down. I think she did it because she knew the strain that was on Dwayne all week, and she did this to get is mind on something else. It had Audrey’s sense of humor written all over it, and she was still looking after her family. When I talked to the rest of the family on Sunday, it turns out that a bunch of odd things happened all week that were the same; Audrey would have found them hilarious, and they gave everyone something else to think about, helping them through a very difficult time. Glen has a story too, but I’m not going to tell that one. Anyone who knew Audrey knew that she did not want to be sick, or spend any time in the hospital. She told me one time that if she ever were in bad shape, that I should hit her over the head with a hammer. Audrey, geez, I said, or at least something like that. Then she gave me that wry smile that was just all Audrey, and we laughed. If she worked for her whole life on how and when she would pass, she could not have made it any better. On Saturday, she got to see Doreen, Kerry, Shelley, and her first great grandchild Carter. On Sunday, Dwayne and Cathy were combining, Glen and Dorothy were combining, everyone was busy with living their lives, doing what they had to do. Everything was right in Audrey’s world. Then, Sunday evening, she came to the Kitscoty fall supper to see and visit with friends, neighbors, every one important to her. She spent her last moments in this world with the love of her life, Ralph, and they were on their way home. They were on their way home. If there was something else to be done, Audrey did it. She got at it, and she got it done. She left a rich legacy of family, and of friends. The best way to honour her is to do what must be done; to help her family, her friends, and Ralph, through this most difficult time, That is what she would be doing, that is what we should do. God bless, Audrey. Card of Thanks Thank you to Reverend Bob Aldrich for your comforting words, to Donna Eyben for playing the organ, Gail Hiltz and Carol McIntosh for leading the hymns. We also wish to thank the Forresters for the honor guard and the pallbearers. A big thanks to Calvin Pinder for the eulogy. Our appreciation to the Ag Society for serving lunch after the service. Thank you to Dale and Glenn McCaw and staff for their warm and professional help with the arrangements. Thank you to family and friends for the overwhelming support with visits, food, cards, flowers, phone calls and donations. It is very much appreciated. In lieu of individual thank you’s a donation will be made to the Kitscoty Hall Fund. Ralph Glen, Dorothy & Family Doreen & Family Dwayne, Cathy & Family Kathie, David Jack & Family Ernest Lang Donations in memory of Audrey may be made to the Kitscoty Community Hall Fund or the Canadian Cancer Society.