Obituary of Evelyn Nelson

Evelyn Marguerite Nelson passed away at the Lloydminster Hospital on Friday, May 10, 2013 at the age of 93 years. Evelyn leaves to mourn: three daughters: Marilyn (John) Hoegl, Sheila Nelson and Joy (Norman) Blumenschein; one son, George Nelson; nine grandchildren: Joanne (Kevin) Lider, Colleen Hoegl, Murray (Lynette) Hoegl, Nick (Shari) Garnier, Cathy (Gary) Palzat, Sandy (Rod) Myksimic, Curtis Devereaux, Christine (Don) Neauriter, Harry (Janelle) Blumenschein and their families; sisters-in-law, Kelly Quinn of Kitscoty, and Sylvia Quinn of Guelf, Ontario. Evelyn was predeceased by her husband, Archie Nelson in 1972; and her five brothers, Herb, Don, Dennis, Norman and Milo Quinn. Donations in Evelyn's memory may be made to the Bea Fisher Centre or to CNIB. Eulogy: Good afternoon, I am Colleen Hoegl, Granddaughter of Evelyn. I could not be more full of pride than to have this opportunity to stand before you to share a wonderful story of goodness, strength and determination. Eulogies are tributes. Tributes filled with facts, feelings, memories and emotions. I realize that facts are facts; I also realize that my version of Grandma's life story may be missing some pieces, some viewpoints and some emotions relative to your own. Please keep in mind as I speak that each of you are welcome to share and add to my words. Perhaps some of this will trigger a memory that is calling to be shared…please do! My utmost concern is not what can I say, but can I possibly share enough to do justice? It is difficult to squeeze 93 quality years into a mere few minutes. I am sure that we all have listened to eulogies where, unfortunately, perhaps the eulogist is forced to reach far to find a quantity of good stories and noteworthy qualities about their friend or family member. It must be difficult and trying to be in such a position. I am sure that you all appreciate and realize that this is not the case today. Today it will be difficult to limit the positive stories, memories and facts that surround the woman that we celebrate today. First the facts: Evelyn Marguerite Quinn blessed the world with her presence on December 7, 1919. She was born the eldest child of Bert and Margaret Quinn, both of whom came from Irish roots and had relocated to Canada from Wisconsin and Minnesota. The family lived near Denzil- The Twynholm school area to be exact. The Quinn family quickly grew to include 5 younger brothers-Herb, Milo, Don, Dennis and by far the baby of the family, Norman. The children all attended school at Twynholm, Loverna and back to Twynholm. I recall countless fond memories that grandma shared of her days spent in the one room school at Twynholm. This was the time of the depression and Grandma would tell stories of frozen lunches and inkwells. She also recalled her and her siblings carrying a cream can of water to school so that there was drinking water in liquid form rather than frozen chunk form. This, grandma said, was her first paying job! Grandma always expressed that she loved her school years. I believe she came by that honestly…a love of books, learning and knowledge was appreciated deeply by her mother, Grandma Quinn, as well. Photos of those years gone-by reflect a lively group of children. You cannot help but smile at the "Quinn bunch" in old photos. I think mischief and good times shine in their eyes. The Quinn children all grew to be attractive young adults that I am sure their mother was ALWAYS proud of! Grandma, being the oldest, was likely often in charge which started her in the direction of being the caregiver and leader that shone through all of her years. Grandma finished her schooling in 1937. Crops were poor and money scarce due to the depression. They all worked hard. Grandma spent two years working around the district and helping at home. Bert, grandma's dad, unfortunately died suddenly in a car accident the fall of 1939. War was declared in Europe also at that time. Life as the family had known it changed drastically. Many of the boys set off to work, some to serve military, and some stayed to farm. Margaret Quinn eventually sold the family farm in 1946. Around that time, some of the family, including Grandma headed to the Lloydminster area. Grandma found and married her true love, Archie Nelson, of Senlac in 1943. I did not have the pleasure of knowing Grandpa, but Grandma ALWAYS ALWAYS spoke more than highly of him. She painted a picture of a kind, caring, hardworking and selfless man. All mentions of him or his parents were positive and very respectful. (Please keep in mind that Grandma being kind and thoughtful also most certainly called a spade a spade and did not give credit where credit was not due). The newlyweds farmed on the Nelson farm by Senlac for 3 years. Marilyn (Hoegl), my mom, their first born, came to be in the "Senlac period"-1944. Unfortunately, hail brushed their crops in each of their three years in this location. The couple was growing discouraged. Archie and Uncle Milo (grandma's brother) headed to the Lloydminster area in search of new farm land. They settled on and purchased a section of land north of Kitscoty. Uncle Milo lived with the family of three in the pre-existing house on their newly acquired joint property. I just learned this…and now have new light on the ever present close connections between Uncle Milo's family and Grandma's. Grandma was "Auntie Ev" to some very special people too. Soon their family grew. Auntie Sheila (Nelson) joined them in 1946, Auntie Joy (Blumeschien) in 1949 and Uncle George (Nelson) in 1957. The family grew together as they spent their years on the Kitscoty farm. Since this was home to Milo and Grandma, this became the new center of meeting for the Quinn siblings. Their mother also joined them in the village of Kitscoty. From the stories shared with us over the years, I am confident in saying that there were many good times had by all. Photos and stories again reflect mostly happy simple times. Countless pictures depict a happy family with happy children. Especially those photos with three girls in braids so tight that they may have been mistaken for Asian. Grandma was the best and tightest braider on earth….her girls and grandchildren and great grandchildren all had the pleasure of instant facelift via French braids. To this day I do not think I would wish a braid like that on anyone! Times then were not times of plenty but they certainly were times of good. Over the years fond memories were shared of neighbors such as the Murrays, Bootsmans, Syripas, and Waltons. These names all resonate in my head through stories shared by Grandma. All of these families and their descendants remained Grandma's close friends and "important people" for her entire life. I often would run into members of these families…unknown to me. "Evelyn is your grandma?" Once they connected who I was, there were always words of respect and admiration of grandma. In 1962 the home on the farm was left in ashes after a fire caused by electrical something. I can imagine there was some scepticism there as it had not been many years since they had electricity available to them. They suffered loss and damage to most all of their personal possessions. They quickly manage to build a new home on the farm and Grandma had a new house. She was able to enjoy her new home on the farm for several years before tragedy hit again. Tragically, in 1972 Grandpa, was taken at the young age of 55 due to a heart attack. Grandma was left to finish raising her family on her own. The girls were mostly grown, but George being born with special needs truly depended on her. Grandma rose to the challenge and displayed the strength of a woman before her time. She chose, I believe mostly for George's sake to relocate to Lloydminster where there were more opportunities for him. She purchased a new house near the outdoor pool (the edge of town at that time) and moved George, her Mom (Grandma Quinn) and herself to "town". Wise planning and decision making as she could see ahead and knew this was a positive step for all three of them. She was making sure that everyone was taken care of. Taking care of everyone had already been grandma's purpose and now this purpose shone stronger than ever. Grandma became the breadwinner of the family and worked full time as receptionist for both Dr. Berg and the Family Medical Clinic. She worked diligently 5 days a week until her retirement from pay check work at the age of 65. Uncle George worked with the workshop for several years when they arrived in town. Eventually and to this day he works for Midway Distributors (McKean and Mills families). Grandma would want this to be mentioned because each and every day she was appreciative of this employment opportunity that George had as well as a place that he BELONGED. I extend a thank-you to them one last time on behalf of Grandma. Now I say she retired from "pay check" work at that time. Grandma was always contributing to our community through unpaid and often unrecognized work. Again she showed the world that she was ahead of her time in her commitment and dedication to community services. Grandma did not spend her time coffeeing or sitting on the deck. She did not always have fresh baked cookies nor hand knit mitts for us. Evelyn Nelson made herself useful through meaningful work at all times. Her list of community involvement is long and deep. She belonged to many community groups and was dedicated to being actively involved in these positions. Evelyn spent countless hours as a minus 1 club board member, Jubilee Gem Board member, United Church ladies group member, Meals on Wheels board member and delivery service. She was always helping someone somewhere. Visiting someone in the hospital or one of the homes. Stopping to visit someone sick or driving someone somewhere. This want to help others ran deep in her soul….even in her last weeks in the hospital we would find her touring up and down the hallways "checking" on the "sick people." Upon my arrival one day last month, she was on her way to check on other hospital dwellers. When I got there she insisted I sit and rest…she would go after I was done visiting. BECAUSE SHE FELT I WAS LIKELY TIRED. The organization that Grandma was most passionate about was Lloydminster Bea Fisher Foundation. She was one of the founding members. She joined the board in 1972 to develop the sheltered workshop program…she continued her passionate service, dedication of time and contributions of wisdom to this valuable service from 1972-1998 in some form or manner. The Bea Fisher Foundation and its people recognized and appreciated Grandma's great contributions for years. I spent time on the board after she resigned and her name was always held in highest regard by all employees, clients and volunteers. I could listen with pride as they spoke of her…having different last names our connection was not obvious. Grandma had made a life goal of improving the quality of life for ALL citizens. Eventually it was only Grandma and Uncle George in the house. Grandma again was a wise woman, and moved them to a Condo for a good decade. While residing there she inherited a new name, "Grandma in the Big Building". From there she made the decision to move to the Hemstock building predicting that Uncle George would eventually be on his own and he would be at a comfortable independence enabling spot at this facility. The family had many great Thanksgiving and Easter celebrations in both of those buildings. I think it was maybe 20 years ago that we began to think that it was important to make each of these occasions for fear that it would be her last…she was 73 after all! I guess we should have known that Grandma, being the strong caring person that she was…she was not giving up cooking turkeys that easily. In fact she continued to host each fall and spring right up until this Easter. Although the last few years, Marilyn brought the turkey. What a blessing to keep the family ties strong by the leadership and gathering of a 93 year old woman at the top of the family tree! A family tree of 4 children, 9 grandchildren and 20 great grandchildren. 93!!!! That's an amazing accomplishment in itself! In my reflections on this I recognize the values of a grandma. Particularly the experiences that are unique in each stage of life. Grandma appreciation comes at different levels at different times. 1. In a child's eyes Grandma was Grandma. She was lunch after church, salmon sandwiches and maple walnut ice cream, Christmas gifts, a snack after piano lessons and a bicycle to ride with the luxury of pavement. She was balloons in the dining room. Grandma was the lady giving articulation lessons to Shari who, sadly pronounced her S's as F's …which impeded her requests for suckers (much to grandma's embarrassment). 2. As a youth, Grandma was a different Grandma. She was the best ever homemade macaroni and cheese. Ping pong in the basement. Her house was a great place to go because she lived by the swimming pool! She would go to work all day while we socialized, swam and lounged in our wet swim wear on her carefully towel covered furniture. Grandma was a smart looking lady. A lady always well put together and vibrant looking. 3. As a young adult Grandma was someone to occasionally visit. Often not as much as we should have. She was the lady that packed fresh bananas and grapes for each and every road trip. She was an essential at all Christmas, Easter, Grads and all special days. Grandma was a busy lady with a full schedule. However she still managed to fit in each and every one of our events. 4. As an adult, Grandma became so much more. This is the part of grandparents that many of us never have the opportunity to know. Grandma became a PERSON. She became someone other than Grandma. She became unbelievably wise. It was as an adult that Grandma became someone to appreciate for much more than being a Grandma. We learned and recognized that she stood for selflessness, helping others, finding the best in people, positive outlooks and giving back to the world. The luxury of spending time with grandma as an adult is where our most valuable lessons lie. A. She became fun …I giggle as I remember traveling to Vancouver Island with her. Completely Colleen's fault- we arrived at the airport in plenty of time but somehow lost time. As per usual for me. Over the intercom..."Colleen Hoegl and Evelyn Nelson your plane is ready for departure". My 85 year old grandma grabbed BOTH our suitcases and smiled and started running frantically through the airport. 85! Heart condition! Running through the airport with not a complaint only a "Thank-you for coming with me Colleen….What would I do without you?"…..ha ha well maybe she would get to her plane on time??? B. The next year we traveled to Toronto to visit her youngest brother Norman. She must have opted for the 'Light Luggage Plan" this time as when the weather turned cool she had only "short pants" I suggested she try my new sparkle jeans. And she did! Now who else has a Grandma that at 87 first of all could, and also would wear her Granddaughters flashy "not your grandmother's jeans"? All with a smile! C. Grandma was perseverance and strength. One winter morning I truly saw the perseverance that was everywhere in Grandma's life. I was heading to school on a winter storm morning. Part way there the principal called me to say school was cancelled and the highway was CLOSED. He was dismayed that I was part way to school already…..but when I got to town I saw my roots clearly. The storm was HORRID. I did not see another single vehicle on the road headed either way. Stores showed no sign of movement or life. The street signs were horizontal with the ground due to the severe wind. It was beyond difficult to make out the signs or shapes due to snow and storm….BUT in the distance I could see one lone tiny woman fighting the wind, headed East towards Co-op. At first I thought "what a nut"…then I looked closer GRANDMA!!! Two people on the streets thus far that day…GRANDMA and I!!!! She was going to get milk in case George needed some!!!!! Nothing stopped Grandma. Nothing! D. As an adult I saw she was wise. She always had advice. Good advice. Sometimes brutally honest but valuable advice. Non-judgemental advice. She was wise enough to see and say things as they were if need be. Not the grandma that made everything fairy tail-ish…she said what she felt needed said. As an adult we appreciated this. Many visits we all had over coffee and cookies or a glass of wine. I recall that she was also wise enough to suggest reducing my speed on our way to doctor's appointments, but not once did she say "I told you so" when the police also told me to reduce my speed. (This was not a one-time occurrence either). I will always remember the day the lights started flashing behind us as Grandma was serenading me with the words to "tequila makes her clothes fall off". RCMP, grandma, tickets and a song about tequila. Afterwards again….not a worry on her part. Simply a "Thanks so much for taking me Colleen". E. She was a lady determined to do good in this world. Grandma was the lady delivering meals on wheels despite her failing eye sight. In her own words "as long as there is snow on the side of the road" she will be fine. The snow served a duty to keep her car out of the ditch and on the street. I recall so did the concrete walls of the Co-op parkade a time or two as well. (And those were just the times that I recall)! F. Grandma was a caregiver. She was now the lady that insisted we all wear sunglasses and was always feeding us Vitalux. She struggled a great deal with her failing eye sight. She once again took care of all of us by doing what she could to save our eyes. She took care of everyone including Uncle George. Uncle George was unbelievably blessed to be born to such a woman. My heart was warmed this winter as I watched them work together. Grandma spent a lifetime teaching Uncle George to read. She was never as successful as she had wished….BUT as they were planning their social schedule this winter….George could read the LETTERS that Grandma had persisted in teaching him. As he read the letters…she could make out the words that she could not see. Teamwork at its finest. She did teach him to read…as a team. Evelyn Nelson was truly an unsung hero. She was selfless, dedicated, giving, ambitious, caring and positive. She made a DIFFERENCE in this world. We are lucky to say goodbye with overwhelming pride and memories of good. Grandma, as you said, "It is time to see Grandpa." I hope you are able to look down on us with the same pride that we will remember you. Thank-you for showing us the way to life; to appreciate the good and to give what you can when you can. The Angels and Grandpa have called you home. The angel's volunteer department must have had an opening they needed you for. And you are so right Grandma…"EVERYDAY IS A GIFT FROM GOD. ENJOY AND MAKE THE MOST OF IT". Thank-you for showing the world and each of us that! Please remember……as you leave..…a gift from God……enjoy it……..make the most of it. We love you Grandma!