Obituary of Mary Karen Bills

Obituary

Mary Karen Bills

1930 - 2017

Mary Karen Bills, 87 years, passed away peacefully, surrounded by her family, at the Dr. Cooke Extended Care Centre, Lloydminster, AB on Monday, August 28, 2017.

Mary Karen leaves to cherish her memory and continue her legacy 5 children, their spouses, grandchildren & great grandchildren - Linda & Don Whittaker, Lloydminster; Laryssa Whittaker, London, England; Gordon & Lindsay Whittaker & Maisie, Leduc; Ken & Elaine Bills, Marwayne; Tanis & Ryan Bowd, Slave Lake; Warren & Rebecca Bills, Kennedy, Ellie, & Kessler, Langdon; Trevor & Dawnelle Bills, Brier & Brennyn, Whitecourt; Brenda & Ed Lee, Vermilion; Shelley Lee & Rollie Thompson, Kaiden & McKenna, Ponoka; Warren Lee, Victoria; Lana Bills & Heraclio (Jr) Medina, Fort Worth, TX; Jeff Bills & Sharon Williams, Fort Saskatchewan; Nathan Bills, Fort Saskatchewan; Quinton Bills & Tara Meissner, Medicine Hat; and an immeasurable number of cousins, nieces, nephews, neighbors & friends.

Mary Karen was predeceased by her best friend and loving husband, William Orval “Bill” Bills, (June 2001); parents, Alfred & Mable Edlund; adopted sister, Mabel Purves Schrader; Bill’s parents Orval & Alma (Joy) Bills, and Bill’s beloved aunt & uncle, Henry & Rosie Joy.

A Celebration of Life was held at the Marwayne Alliance Church, Friday, September 1, 2017. Pastor Ross Plews & Pastor Richard Payne officiated.  The private family interment was Friday morning at the Marwayne Cemetery.  Arrangements were entrusted to McCaw’s Funeral Service of Lloydminster.

The service included a tribute from her grandchildren, presented by Warren Bills, as well as reflections from Ken Bills, Elaine Bills & Lana Bills.   Complete tributes are linked here or available online at www.McCawFuneralService.com. Pianist, Sylvia (Swanson) Hewitt brought instrumental music and accompanied Janine Lange & Raelene Tupper, who sang, “If You Could See Me Now.”

Mom was born in Claresholm, AB on March 16, 1930.  As a child, she moved to Crossfield, AB when her father, a Pharmacist, purchased the Rexall Drugstore. Mom & Dad met at the Crossfield High School.  They married on December 10, 1947 and farmed east of Crossfield. They relocated to Marwayne in July 1967.

Mom & Dad truly farmed together and took pride in their crops & horned Hereford cattle, along with the pigs, chickens, milk cows, horses, dogs, and cats that made Marywill Farm home. Mom had a special place in her heart for animals. She never turned a stray away and was known for nursing many animals and birds back to health.

Mom always raised a large garden from which she canned, pickled, and froze the bounty for winter.  She had chickens & sold eggs. Later, she would add Watkins products to her egg business.

Mom was a wonderful cook.  She prepared hearty, home-cooked meals for her family. No one ever went hungry and no matter how many ended up at her table, she had the uncanny ability to make sure everyone was well fed.

Mom was a beautiful seamstress and made many lovely garments. Well known for her mending ability, jeans, work shirts and coveralls were patched for second, even third lives.  She enjoyed knitting, crocheting and embroidery. Each of her children had hand-knit layettes when they were born.

When times were difficult, and at times they were, Mom was the strong matriarch of the family – always with encouraging words and optimism for a better tomorrow. 

Once her children were raised, Mom still had a desire to care for others. She began working as a Home Care Aide for the Minburn Vermilion Health Unit where she found enjoyment helping seniors with meals, and personal care.  Mom also enjoyed volunteering at the Interval Home Store.

Even after Dad’s death, Mom wanted to stay on the farm.  She enjoyed the activity and remained there with her dog & kitties until November 2011 when a fall compromised her mobility. In 2012, the Dr. Cooke became her new home.

This last year, as Mom became more frail, she spoke of her desire to go to heaven and be rejoined with Dad.  The afternoon of Monday, August 28, she realized that hope as she took her last breath and entered the presence of her Lord.

Mom’s love, care, encouragement, and compassion will be deeply missed by her family, as well as all those who knew her for a life well lived.

 

Card of Thanks:  We, the family of Mary Karen Bills will be forever grateful to the staff of the Dr. Cooke Extended Care Centre for your exceptional care for our Mom in her adopted home. 

To the nursing staff, we were appreciative of your attention to Mom’s medical needs with professionalism and compassion.   To the caregivers, your friendship, attention, and care for Mom’s physical needs gave her such comfort.  “Grandma” truly loved you.  

For the dietary/dining room staff, thank you for building a relationship with Mom through mealtimes.  We appreciated your encouragement and attentiveness to her changing needs.   To the housekeeping staff, Mom looked forward to your visits.  Thank you for keeping her home clean and cared for.   To recreation and physiotherapy, thank you for encouraging Mom socially and supporting her physically.

Dr. Chan, we are so grateful for your medical attention to Mom during her time under your care. Thank you for your attentiveness to her and our family, during her final days.    

Thank you to Pastor Ross & Susan Plews for your care & friendship to Mom. To Pastor Richard, we appreciated your visits to Mom at the Cooke to talk and pray with her.  We know she was grateful to have you both officiate her celebration.  

Our thanks to Sylvia Hewitt, Janine Lange, and Raelene Tupper for providing music at the celebration of our Mom.

Thank you Colleen Hozack and staff for catering both the family luncheon and the lovely lunch after the service. 

Our sincere thanks to those who brought us comfort through visits, phone calls, texts, online condolences, FB posts, cards, gifts of food, flowers, and by honoring Mom with your attendance at her Celebration of Life.  Reflecting Mom’s generous heart and personal passions, your memorial contributions in her honor to the Gideon’s, SPCA and LRHF Dr. Cooke Blooms for Healthcare, were most appreciated.

A special thank you to Glenn McCaw and staff of McCaw’s Funeral Service for your care for our Mom and family, as you guided us through this time. 

Linda & Don Whittaker

Ken & Elaine Bills

Brenda & Ed Lee

Lana Bills & Heraclio Medina

Jeff Bills & Sharon Williams

& families

 

 

Tribute to Grandma Bills from the Grandkids

Presented by Warren Bills

That’s my Grandma,

teaching me to sew, and cook, and other lessons for my own good.

That’s my Grandma, and I love her.

 

This was one of the poems written by Laryssa, and it was Grandma who drew her attention to the Young Co-operator’s Club, a page of stories, poems and drawings by children published weekly in the Western Producer newspaper.  Coming up with the pen name “Little Lulu”, Laryssa became a regular contributor, thanks to Grandma. 

Teaching Laryssa to sew at her sewing machine, her first patchwork squares, cooking and preserving in a busy family kitchen, refrigerator cookies, shortbread, plum pickle and buns start out our grandkid list of the MANY favourite foods our Grandma will be remembered for.  Many of the go-to recipes in Laryssa’s box today are marked ‘Grandma Bills’ in the upper right-hand corner, and the tricks of the trade like using margarine, lard or Pam in bread pans won’t be forgotten.  Oil tends to make buns stick worse – sometimes, you have to trust experience.

I’m going to prepare us all now, that for the next few minutes…your taste buds will be watering. 

For Gord, during one of the summers he spent working at Grandma and Grandpa’s farm, he ate lunch at Grandma's every day.  She was a pretty good cook and baker… (Come on Gord - pretty good?) Gord recalls she used to keep things in a set of clear jars with orange lids and there were a few of them in the fridge at any given time. In Gord’s words he recalls: “I can't remember if it was potatoes or perogies she made that day, but I asked if she had any Creamy Cucumber salad dressing for them, as I prefer that to sour cream. She brought one of those non-descript, orange-capped jars over from the fridge, and I poured it over my lunch.  It didn't taste right, but I didn't say anything, I just quietly choked it all down.  When she went to put the jar away after lunch, she pulled out one of the other identical jars, and while holding up one in each hand for closer inspection, wondered aloud if she had given me leftover pancake batter instead of Creamy Cucumber.” 

Gord, I’m pretty sure, right now, with that memorable smile, she’s laughing along with the rest of us. 

Nathan reminds us of that old automatic toaster of hers, and a go-to snack of toast, brown sugar, and cinnamon and if you were really hungry, tomato soup.  All while watching the Discovery Channel and listening to that bird clock chirp something new every hour. 

For Quin, it was going to Grandma’s and knowing there would always be fresh homemade buns and cinnamon buns ready to sit down together and enjoy. 

For me, it was the orange crush floats, the fresh raspberries and sugar that still take me back.

For Tanis, it was the memory of getting to Grandma’s and always being offered juice or coffee and cookies.

I think Trevor and Grandma had it figured out. At a pretty early age, he recalls, knowing the code with Grandma to get “something that starts with YO”- aka yogurt. Then moving towards that big long red couch, and curling up - likely with a home-knitted blanket, he went for a good afternoon nap. 

Thanks Grandma, our hearts and clearly our stomachs are full. 

There’s so much more Grandma influenced us with - more than her kitchen.  Fifty-four years of marriage is something we should all aspire to.  This wisdom, combined with a truly loving and caring heart, and always looking for the positive in people, Grandma has reached into our individual lives, our marriages, and our families.    

Gord recalls a card in the mail shortly after a breakup.  He says “I don't remember exactly what she wrote, but there was a kind note with some advice along the lines of being lit up by people as they entered a room, and she noted that that had been missing. She encouraged me to find that.  I remember thinking, in my twenty-something-year-old head, "Hmm, imagine ole' Grandma knowing something that like".  I'm grateful for the wisdom and example of over 53 years of marriage, proud that she got to see my two ladies light me up, and comforted by the thought that she, once again, can walk into a room for Grandpa.

Tanis remembers moving to Lloydminster in 2011 and shortly after Grandma came there to stay.  As she remembers: “We were living within a few blocks of the Dr. Cooke. Therefore, my best visits with Grandma have been over the past five years of her life. She was always interested in what we were doing, and it led to some good conversations that I will remember fondly. Although Grandma was known to give her opinions sometimes, throughout her life, she always cared and wanted to help. A meaningful time for me was when I talked to her about meeting Ryan and after she met him, I could tell she approved and she hadn't even said a word. It was just her caring and loving nature.”  

Grandma’s love extended beyond people and as we all know, it included animals, or as I remember Grandma saying all too often, “they’re just people with fur.”  If you ever needed to know how to care for new kittens, you could go to Grandma.  If you needed to know how to care for a baby robin in a shoebox, or fix a broken wing, you could go to Grandma.  Trevor recalls collecting the eggs from the chickens with Grandma, and for anyone who sat at that humble kitchen table at Grandma’s with the window cracked slightly open, there was clearly no better hummingbird feeder in all of Alberta than at Grandma’s.

Love for her grandkids, her great grandkids, and the animals of the earth, it is the love for her own children, that has truly influenced us as grandkids the most.  Quin captures it quite nicely. “I remember during the divorce she had no problem letting Dad and Nathan stay with her and I was so grateful and happy that her son was back home.  She’d do anything to make sure the ones she loves are always happy and would always be there for them at any time.”

As Tanis summarized for us all, we appreciate her gift of mercy, her love of people and animals, and her giving nature. She has left those things as examples. Thanks, Grandma.

As we think about the future, our lives will get bigger and our days as busy as they are.  There will be times where we don’t remember Grandma, and times where we should remember Grandma.  I can’t help but think the greatest tradition she’s past down is the belief in the saving grace of our Lord Jesus.  When we believe in God’s love and grace, the future isn’t scary.  It’s exciting. 

Until we meet again Grandma. 

Love your Grandkids and great Grandkids. 

 

Ken’s Tribute to Mom

I am sure many of you will attest to remembering your upbringing and how you related to your parents by recalling significant events. We don’t say, “we always had clean socks to wear every day for 16 years” or “we always had food on the table.”  We took those things for granted at the time, and although very significant in hindsight, the vivid memories are most often family events, special gatherings, and special times with our parents.

This is certainly the case for my memories of Mom. Now, not all significant events are positive ones. I was probably 5 or 6. This event involved a “character adjustment apparatus” known to most households of that era as a wooden spoon. I had possibly said something slightly inappropriate. I remember exactly where I was in the farm house east of Crossfield when mom got “set up” and got one whack in, when the handle broke. We both stood dumbfounded and stared at the spoon, in 2 pieces, on the floor. It must not have been the first time, as I remember thinking I wasn’t going to get the last five whacks. Before she could get the alternate apparatus, the spatula, Mom was likely interrupted by one of my sisters or a phone call. The ambiance had changed and life with 3 or 4 young kids on the farm returned to normal. Mom never held a grudge.

As I have said to others in our community, what we have witnessed with Mom’s passing has been the last chapter in her “Book of Life” and we don’t want to read it. We say, “let’s go back to that chapter where mom had the best cinnamon buns ever fresh on the counter when we arrived home on the bus. Or, the shortbread cookies Lana has tried for years to duplicate- -  which can’t be done.” Just two examples of the many home-made provisions Mom was a master at.

Then there’s the chapter of her gardening skills. As a farm wife and homemaker with 5 children in the family and often extra harvesting, cement, or corral cleaning crews -  all which we did at Crossfield with our Uncle Ted -  large gardens and the proverbial potato patch were always a part of Mom’s life. Until recently when asked about her knees failing, she would always pat her one knee and with an almost proud lament say, “just too many hills of potatoes.’’

There is the chapter listing the “tools of her trade.” For those of you that were here 16 years ago in June, we displayed some of Dad’s wood tools and purebred Hereford material, but the main tool of his trade was his Styled John Deere “D” tractor. Duane Dale got it running and I drove it to town.

As far as Mom’s tools of her trade I will miss some but here goes –

Two cream separators - I remember the day dad brought home the electric de Laval

Cream cans, butter churn and butter mold

Two home-made ice cream makers - one hand crank and one electric

Mr. Hillaby Pea Sheller

Two sewing machines - her original treadle machine on display in the foyer

Fabric, Simplicity and Butterick patterns

Knitting needles and wool, wool, and more wool

Potato fork

Flour mill

Apple sauce strainer

Meat grinder

Grinder with cucumber friendly blades – seriously, we are talking millions of cucumbers - those blades must have been titanium

Ceramic pickling crocks

Pressure cookers and several canners

Home-made egg candler

 

Mom wasn’t necessarily the “fixer.” Dad had the exclusive lifetime maintenance contract for all these “tools.” Later Ed or Jeff would be enlisted to TLC things to keep the assembly line moving. JR, if you had been on the scene with your “multi- meter,” she would have appreciated you as well.

There is a very full chapter about her love of animals big and small. We always regarded Mom as a “respecter of life.” In 2011, when she was in hospital in Edmonton and very discouraged about her possibility of recovery, I refreshed her memory with this story.

One time, a bird hit the window. Mom quickly noticed it was alive. She gathered it up before the dog could get it. With Dad’s help, she would fashion a whittled portion of a Popsicle stick, to tape its broken wing. In this case, a robin was put in a Chiquita banana box - probably from Swanson’s Grocery – and placed next to the dryer, so the warm vibration would calm it.  Oven racks were quickly turned into corral panels and joined with recycled bread bag ties on the 3 open sides.  That would keep the house cat at bay. A towel was draped over this sick bay to keep the bird from fluttering out to its demise. Using an eye dropper, Mom would try warm milk and sometimes Pablum or thin Cream of Wheat, to keep it alive. Once the wing had mended in a few days, the bird would fly off.  All the items returned to their primary function. Think about this……. millions of wild birds on earth. Yet, at that moment, on that busy day, tasks in progress were suspended, to save that one bird. Incredible, by any standard.

Another animal story - Muffy was a small Scottish terrier who showed up day or night, rain, or shine, on our door step at Bellcamp. We discovered he belonged to Cliff Espetveidt, 4 miles away. Remember, a small terrier’s legs are 3 inches long. After numerous arrivals, phone calls and retrievals, Cliff finally said to Mom, “You may as well keep him, I think he likes it here.” Muffy was the first of many guest animals that would become resident pets.

If her egg count was down or she noticed anything “off” with her hens, she and Dad would bundle up one or two hens to take them to Weir Vet Clinic for a diagnosis or improved feed recommendation. Glen Weir greeted her always after that with “How is the Chicken Lady?”

The memories I have conjured up with these few stories are not at all unique to our Mom. Many of you, particularly if your mom has passed on, could stand right here with similar stories. The very special and treasured truth about our mom is she did all this while raising five of us and for many years after. She did absolutely everything with a smile and a joyful heart.

This explains why so many of you developed a friendship with our Mom as your dear friend, Mary Karen. We all sought her council and coveted her advice.  And, she reciprocated by coveting the council and advice of many of you.

This is just the preamble to the chapter you can add to her “Book of Life” as the many, who were so very special to her.

 

Elaine’s Tribute to Mom

It is my honor and privilege to give a tribute to my mother-in-law today. Mom called me her daughter-in-love and so it goes that I call her my mother-in-love. She was a Mom to me and I was blessed to have her for 45 years. Our relationship began with a few commonalities: we both loved her son, we both were only children and we both were “town” girls. So, it was an easy connect.

Mom was a master mentor and taught me so much about farm living. She was patient to teach and share her skills of gardening, freezing, canning, pickling, and baking with all her daughters.  Linda recalled her weekends home from Edmonton when she and Donnie would step out of city living into the wash tubs of corn and peas. Mom was an amazing example of a devoted farm wife. I was often grateful I had the excuse I had to teach because I really couldn’t have measured up to her capabilities.

Mom was a true friend - genuine, sincere, reliable, dependable, willing, and available.  We spent hours on the phone. My children finally bought me headphones for the phone so I could talk and make supper at the same time. We shared thoughts and ideas easily and she became my confidant over the years listening, encouraging, and lending advice. Fridays after school meant having a coffee with Mom and letting go of the week’s crazy school-life stories. Mom’s intentions and ways were always positively motivated. Her faith was an example I have deeply respected and I see the legacy of her love for the Lord in her children, grandchildren and very recently her great grandchildren.

Tradition was a great part of Mom and her family. One that we all have loved and treasure is the Christmas which started with oysters Christmas Eve and ended with Boxing day games and more food! Family birthday parties and harvest meals in the fields-- all good times together.

Mom’s heart was a very giving heart - giving of her love, time, energy, help and possessions. Rarely did you leave her house empty-handed or empty-hearted! She was a care giver in so many ways. As a home care worker in the community, she went above and beyond her role because she really cared for her people. And, yes, she cared passionately for all the “people in fur” as she called each of her many pets.

It is because she cared for others that she earned a special spot in the hearts of the care givers at the Dr. Cooke. They could see a special lady. It was her turn to be cared for and I think I speak for all the family when I express a deep appreciation for the compassionate care Mom received from the staff at the Dr. Cooke nursing home over the last five years.

Over the years Mom basically “adopted” many sons. Her hospitality was so warm that the agricultural trainees that boarded with her became like other sons. She fussed over them as she would her own. Peter from Denmark won Mom’s heart completely and was a special part of Mom’s life.

There was a special connection too, between Mom and her sons-in-law, Donnie, Ed, and JR. They could bring a smile to Mom’s face when many of us couldn’t. And so, two sons became many.

It was easy to call my mother-in-law “MOM” because she loved me like her daughter. For that I am truly blessed and grateful. And I loved her like my Mom.

 

Lana Celebrates Mom

Blessed are those who weep now, for you will laugh.  Luke 6:21b NIV

Mary Karen Bills was the only child of Alfred & Mable Edlund of Claresholm, AB. Because of their incompatible blood types, Alf & Mable had experienced several miscarriages before my mother was born.  Once they had their daughter, they knew they would have no more. To show no partiality to either family, my grandfather determined Mom should be named after her two grandmothers, Mary Atkin & Karen Edlund. And, Mary Karen, “It’s a double name,” began her life on March 16th, 1930.

Mother attended school in Crossfield. During high school she met Billy Bills, whose family, having returned from time in California, was farming east of Crossfield. After mother completed high school, she worked a short time in the telephone office as an operator.  Mother & Dad were married on December 10, 1947.

As they were planning their wedding and new life together, the question of where they were to live came up.  Dad offered up a couple of options; one, they could live with his parents, Orval & Alma, in the large farm house or two; Dad had another idea.

One Sunday afternoon, Dad took Mom to the “north place.”  It was just a couple of miles from the farm where Grandma & Grandpa Bills lived.  When they drove up, Mom noticed a small unassuming, building. Dad opened the door, pushed some leftover grain away from the opening and said, “We can fix this up and it will be our first home!”.  Mom agreed and thus began the first of many of the homes my parents improved throughout their marriage.  They lived at the north place without electricity and running water, with their transportation a one-ton Ford truck until Ken was born.

Over the years, as Mother talked of her relationship with Dad, she would say, “I would have lived in a cardboard box under a bridge, as long as it was with Dad.”  That was the love & devotion they had to each other.

Dad loved to tease Mom about bringing her from town so she could become a farm wife. In all honesty, it was Grandma (Alma) Bills who helped Mom become the wonderful farm wife she was. Mom was a quick learner and knew how to butcher a chicken, mend overalls, and harvest massive gardens under the gentle tutelage of Grandma Bills. Having lost her own mother in 1966, when Grandma passed away in 1998. Mother felt the loss deeply. She had lost her mother, mentor, friend, and the women she aspired to be like.

Mom & Dad farmed east of Crossfield until 1967.  It was our Centennial project to move to Marwayne.  Dad’s Uncle Henry & Aunt Rosie Joy lived in Kitscoty and been an encouragement to move north, away from city sprawl and to good farm land. In the years that followed, we spent a lot of time with Uncle Henry & Aunt Rosie. Both Mom & Dad enjoyed learning about their days of homesteading the prairies.

When Dad became unwell, Mother stood beside him to care and encourage him.  In 2001 when the doctors said not much more could be done for Dad’s cancer, Mother brought him home. When I asked her if Dad has asked her to bring him home, she gave me that look and said, “He didn’t have to.  Of course, I was bringing him home.”  For eleven weeks, with the support of the Health Unit nurses, she was by his side.

The night before he passed, she said to me, “Where is he, Lana? He is not here and he is not there.”  My reply, “Momma, he is waiting to be called.”  Mom gave my Dad the privilege of dying on the farm. She would not have had it any other way. On the morning, Dad passed, Mother said two things, “God has answered my prayer, your father has slept away.”  Then, as I wept, she said these very wise words, “It’s not a bad day, Lana.  It’s just a hard day/”

Even after Dad’s passing, Mom wanted to live on the farm.  She had been a farm wife for nearly 54 years and I don’t think she thought harvest could happen without her.  Besides, she had her big outdoor dogs, barn cats, and house cats.  Who would look after them?

It was a fall, the great enemy of seniors, that took Mom from the farm. On that day in November 2011, when Marwayne Fire & Rescue took her to the hospital, I don’t think any of us thought it would be her last day on the farm in her own home.  

After a time in both Edmonton and Lloydminster hospitals, she moved to the Dr. Cooke.  She had lost her mobility. Once again, she showed her resilience and positivity in making wherever she was “home.”

Mom made friends easily and had many, at the Cooke.  She was always appreciative of her care and had many lovely table mates. As a family, we could not be more grateful for the care Mom received during her 5 ½ years in her adopted home.

You have already heard the stories and tributes from children and grandchildren. And, I see so many of you who Mom loved dearly and who loved her back.  Thank you for honoring her and our family with your presence.

Beyond being a wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, aunt and friend, Mom’s greatest legacy was her deep faith. Mom came to know Christ as her Lord and Savior after we moved to Marwayne.  Along with her faith, her prayer life grew and I can still see her in my mind’s eye, sitting in her chair – sometimes in the dark, sometimes in the light, praying for her family and friends.

During her last year, she and I had more than one conversation about heaven.  So much so, that I began reading about heaven, so she and I could talk about it.  When she told me, not so long ago, she was lonely, I asked her who or what she was lonely for.  Her answer, “I am ready to go to heaven. I miss your Dad.”

When I arrived that last Saturday, she uttered her recognition, I was home. I was so grateful.  By Sunday, as she slipped further and further away, I could remind family while she was not here or there – she was waiting for God to call her home.

With Mom, we were able to be with her until the very end. She passed peacefully, family by her side.  As Mom took her last breath here on earth, she took her next in the presence of Jesus. Such a privilege. What a mystery.

Not only did our parents teach us how to live, they also taught us how to die. It is a legacy we will carry on in our families. 

May I encourage you with these, Mom’s words, “It’s not a bad day. It’s just a hard day.”

 

Mary Karen's memorial card can be viewed or downloaded from the link below.

https://indd.adobe.com/view/67ae1fb7-b75d-4dea-8cca-a7fe016ce431