Obituary of Audrey MacDonald

Audrey will be sadly missed by her children: Bob and Linda MacDonald of Victoria, B.C., Barry and Irene MacDonald of Martensville, SK, Patsy and Randy Anderson of Assiniboia, SK, Brian MacDonald of Edmonton, AB; nine grandchildren: Bobby & Twila, Barry & Nicole, Ryan & Mary, Michelle, Mark & Jessica, Darren and Angie, Scott, Sandra, Sara; three great grandchildren: Caitlin, Tyler and Hannah; one brother Carroll and Marie McCune of San Jose, California as well as numerous nieces and nephews. Audrey was predeceased by her loving husband Alex in 1990. EULOGY Audrey MacDonald's Eulogy Delivered November 24, 2008 by her nephew Glenn MacDonald It is indeed an honor for me to be asked by the family to share the memories of someone so dear to us all. Today is a sad day for us all - for in less than a month, we celebrate the lives of two very special women - the mothers of our family - my mom, and now Aunty Audrey. In the grand scope of time, Audrey Pearl McCune was born only a moment ago, on June 30, 1926, to Herb and Pearl McCune, in Eston, Saskatchewan. Her dad always told her that he found her under a tree in front of the Eston hospital. Audrey passed away November 19, 2008 at the Oliver Lodge in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. She was predeceased by: Her loving husband Alex (in January 1990) Her parents Herb & Pearl Her brother Clinton Her sister Velma, and My mom and dad, Bill & Muriel McDonald She leaves behind her loving family: Brother Carroll & sister-in-law Marie of San Jose, California Her children: Bob & Linda of Victoria Barry & Irene of Martensville Patsy & Randy Anderson of Assiniboia, and Brian of Edmonton Her grandchildren: Bobby MacDonald and his wife Twila Ryan MacDonald and his partner Mary Barry MacDonald and his wife Nicole Michelle MacDonald Mark MacDonald and his fiancée Jessica Darren MacDonald and his wife Angie, and Scott, Sandra and Sara Anderson Her great grandkids: Caitlin, Hannah, Tyler, and another granddaughter, Alexandra due any day…….maybe even right now!!! Her nieces and nephews: Donna, Rich & Tim Huskler of San Jose, California Doug, Debbie & Kyle McCune of Salem, Oregon Denny & David McCune of Illinois Gordon, Jennifer & Trina MacDonald of Airdrie Diane, Terry, Ian & Andrea Dmytrash of Lamont Myself (Glen), Darlene, Duncan & Stetson MacDonald of Marwayne And numerous cousins . . . Audrey grew up in Madison, Saskatchewan. Her family ran the post office and her dad was a grain buyer. She grew up in a very musical family. From her earliest memories music was a big part of her family. Everyone in the family played an instrument. Audrey started playing saxophone and piano at a very young age. She played in orchestras from the time she was in high school until she was in her 50's. Audrey was quite a bit younger than her two big brothers. So she always wanted to tag along. Clinton would say "No way that little brat is coming with us!" but Carroll would jump to her defense with "My sister can come with us if she wants to!" Carroll always referred to Audrey as his baby sister even when they were both in their eighties. After finishing school Audrey left her fiancée behind in Madison and went away to Calgary to the Bowness Business School. She started her first job with the Bank of Toronto in Calgary and she was soon transferred to Marwayne, Alberta in April 1945 at the age of 19. She boarded at Mr. & Mrs. Pinson's and Mrs. Pinson used to joke at mealtime about getting Audrey's medicine for her - "the Heinz Ketchup!" She became a member of the CGIT, the Marwayne Band, and was part of the United Church Choir. She later played with the Bendixon band. Audrey was also a Charter Member of the Royal Purple. At times the kids had mixed feelings about her involvement with the Purple because after smelling the turkey cooking all day it went to the hall and the kids were left with the gizzards. We often wondered how many one legged turkeys showed up at the Elks Hall as it was a well known fact that Audrey's favorite was the drumstick. January 1946 after living in Marwayne for the better part of a year, Audrey met at a dance a handsome young soldier just back from the war. When Alex MacDonald later came into the bank, she wasn't going to let this Army Man get away…..although she always said she didn't marry him for his money - she could see his bank account balance! She often shared that she knew the first time she laid eyes on this tall, dark, handsome and muscular fellow she wasn't going to let him slip away. The grandkids got a kick out of this and with today's terminology they'd say he was hot and ripped. Alex and Audrey went on their first date on the 26th of April. She soon after sent her engagement ring and a Dear John letter back to her fiancé in Madison. Alex and Audrey were married in Madison on the 26th of June 1946, two months after their first date. The quick marriage raised more than a few eyebrows in the community. However the gossips were silenced when their first child didn't come along for another 14 months! After the wedding they moved to Kimberley BC where Alex had worked before the war. Alex went back to his old job in the nickel mine and they would have stayed there except for the fact that they could not find housing. After several months of staying with friends they moved back to Marwayne to farm. After having all of the comforts of the 20th century her entire life, Audrey now lived in a three-room house with no running water and no electricity. They didn't even have a car and rural telephones were still a decade away. Audrey said that the highlight of those early years was getting a gasoline-powered washing machine to replace the tub and washboard. Despite the hardships the newlyweds persevered and were blessed with the birth of their first child Robert Alexander on August 31, 1947. Farming was good in the late forties and early fifties. They purchased a half section of land and bought equipment and vehicles. They even had another child. On June 20th 1951 Barry William was born. Audrey's parents had retired to San Diego, California and the family spent the winter of 1952 there. In 1954, '55 and '56 farming was tough and Alex worked in the oilfields each winter to make extra income. They moved to Edmonton after harvest and came back to Marwayne to farm each spring. By 1957 this lifestyle became too hard on the family and Alex accepted a job as a grain buyer for the Pioneer Grain Company. They moved to town and were excited to have electricity but they still had no running water. They hauled water from the outdoor tap of their good friends and neighbours Lewis and Ida Lowrie. Bob and Barry really disliked wash day and often fought over who had to empty the slop pail and chamber pot. No water ever went to waste. They were early environmentalists. Then the miracle happened! In 1958 Audrey found out that she was expecting a baby after being told years before that she could not have any more children. Patricia Ellen was born on March 2, 1959. They had their girl and the family was complete, or so they thought! Imagine their surprise and shock ten months later when Audrey was told that she was pregnant again even though they had agreed that they couldn't afford another mouth to feed. I wonder if Alex told himself his favorite response to expectant fathers…"Clumsy bastard!" Brian Herbert was born October 20th 1960 on Aunt Muriel's birthday. They now had what amounted to two families. Bob left home to join the navy in 1967 and Barry left in 1969. Patsy and Brian were quite young when their big brothers left and having them home for another dozen years kept Alex and Audrey young and involved in the community. In the early sixties Audrey played in an orchestra with Roy Hnatow on guitar, Ron (Scream) Golightly on saxophone and Darwin Franklin on drums. She usually played piano but played saxophone when Irene Franklin was available to play piano. It was rumored that she didn't play a guitar, however, she taught a budding artist how to play it. Once the kids were older Audrey went to work at Curtis' store and continued to work there when it became Swanson's store. She enjoyed the interaction with the community and the extra income very much helped. She also earned extra income throughout the sixties and seventies by playing music. For many years she and Art Gellart had the We Three Orchestra. They played for dances, bars and business functions. As much as she loved playing, the late nights and travel took a lot out of her. In the later years her hands would often be numb for days after playing for a function. She was the most naturally talented musician that most of us will ever know in our lifetimes. She never needed to read music but if you could hum it, she could play it. Alex and Audrey loved to travel and took many trips in the U.S. and Canada over the years. Some of the trips she enjoyed the most were when she and Alex threw their suitcases in the car along with the cooler and just drove. Upon their return Audrey would share where their travels took them and who they ran into. She also enjoyed relaxing at home. From an early age, Audrey was a movie buff and enjoyed her movie magazines. She would get a call every week or two from Jean Romanick to settle a family argument over which actor or actress was in a certain movie or married to one another. She loved her soap operas, especially "Another World". She always enjoyed playing sports, particularly track and field, ball and curling. I can still remember the group of ladies that took 2 or 3 rinks to every bonspiel in the area and boy did they have fun and they won lots of prizes. She was an avid Blue Jays and Oilers fan. She loved Wayne Gretzky so much that her kids referred to him as her boyfriend. Both Audrey and Alex enjoyed sports but it was Audrey who knew all the stats, who was on a hot streak and who had the best batting average. Audrey and Alex's home was always open and full of life, laughter and music. A typical scene would be Audrey at the piano with the ladies singing along. Alex would be in the kitchen cooking up whatever was in the fridge, while the men sat around the kitchen table having a drink and telling stories. The highlight of Audrey and Alex's year was their Boxing Day Bash where they could celebrate the holidays with their very special friends, and those of Bob and Barry and Patsy and Brian, or anyone else who dropped in (there was no generation gap in their home). The little house bulged at the seams and Audrey would walk by the porch, look at the pile of shoes and say "Wow look at all those boots". Audrey loved her visits with her Mom and Dad from San Diego, her brother Carroll and family from San Jose and Bob, Linda and the kids from Victoria. After final good byes Audrey would retreat to her bedroom and cry knowing full well it would be some time before she would see them again. Many people's memories of Audrey would be of her coming home from playing at a dance somewhere around the country, arriving at the Elks Hall and playing and leading the sing along for a few more hours after the dance in Marwayne was over. Even after her own 40th wedding anniversary party she played till all hours of the morning with Twe Horton on sax, Bryon Horton on the pots and pails and Brian MacDonald on guitar. Audrey and Alex loved animals! They always had a cat in the house. Many of you will remember their dog Scooter, who found Audrey wherever she was in town, at the rink, the laundry mat or the beauty salon, Audrey would look down at her feet and there was Scooter. A few years later, they inherited Patsy's dog Buffy, who became Audrey's constant companion for many years. Audrey never swore, however, Alex made up for it and the kids found out that copying their dad usually ended up with a mouth full of soap but the kids also knew that if they wanted something you always asked Mom first. Bob was teaching Barry how to smoke out in the outhouse back in the early 60's and Mom caught them and punished Bob by making him smoke a pack of cigarettes as punishment but little did she know that Bob had been smoking for 3 years and enjoyed his punishment very much and as usual little Barry got off scott free. After Alex's death in 1990 Audrey seemed to withdraw from the community. What we didn't know then was that she was showing early symptoms of the dementia that gradually took over her life. Her friends would say that she didn't want to go anywhere and did not seem interested in visiting with them. As the illness progressed her family discovered that she was failing and showing signs of memory loss. In 1999 she moved to the Saskatoon area and lived with Barry's family. Her condition continued to deteriorate and doctor's diagnosed that she suffered from fluid build up that was pressing on the brain. She had surgery in Calgary and the condition was corrected. Her balance and memory improved but it was still not safe for her to live alone. She moved into The Franklin, a beautiful brand new assisted living complex in Saskatoon, and her home in Marwayne was sold. Although she wanted to move back to Marwayne she convinced herself to try this new place by saying, "this is the first new home I have ever lived in." She was able to live in The Franklin for five years with the help of her family and eventually assistance from home care. As her balance and memory deteriorated she was diagnosed with vascular dementia. The staff at The Franklin could no longer care for her. In May 2006 she moved into Oliver Lodge, which is a long-term care home in Saskatoon. She received wonderful care there until her passing last Wednesday. She was a favorite of the staff at both facilities because of her pleasant nature and kindness. However, in the fall of 2005 she was able to make one last trip back home to Marwayne with Bob, Barry and Patsy. During this visit she was able to see the renovations to her old house, say hi to Sandra, have lunch with us at Moms, visit Alex at the Marwayne cemetery where she said "Oh there's my husband" and then it was off to the Dr. Cooke to visit with my Dad. Avis Bystrom and Terry and Diane joined my family and we enjoyed a feast of Chinese food and were entertained by Aunty Audrey on the piano. Her unforgotten talent soon drew many staff and residents to the party room. This was Dad's last visit with Aunty Audrey and little did we all know this would be her last time to serenade us all. The family would like to give a heartfelt thank you to a very special neighbor, Sandra McAdam. Without your friendship and help, Aunty Audrey would never have been able to stay in Marwayne as long as she did. We can imagine that right now they're all together once again. Aunty Audrey is playing the piano. Gordon Hancock is singing along. Mom and Uncle Alex are cooking away. Dad is telling stories. There is so much laughter, joy and love. To borrow a phrase from Don McLean's famous song American Pie, for many of us November 19, 2008 was "the day the music died." To Bob, Barry, Patsy and Brian you have been blessed with the gifts of the love of music, sports, movies and a welcoming hospitality that you learned from your Mom. She was so proud that these gifts were evident in her grandchildren Bobby, Ryan, Barry, Michelle, Mark, Darren, Scott, Sandy and Sarah and her precious little great grandchildren Caitlin, Hanna and Tyler. I'm sure everyone in heaven is rockin to Aunty Audrey playing "In the Mood". TRIBUTE Grandchildren's Tribute to Grandma MacDonald Delivered November 24, 2008 by three of her Grandchildren BOBBY MacDonald (Son of Bob & Linda MacDonald): Our Grandma was an amazing woman. She was kind, caring, gentle, sweet, accepting and loving. We have so many fond memories of growing up with Grandpa and Grandma MacDonald. They loved us all so much - their 9 grandchildren and 3 - nearly 4 - great grandchildren. No one was favoured, but we were all special. There's 22 years between all the grandkids, so we have varying memories of our Grandma MacDonald. The years in Marwayne bring lots of fond memories. It was a place of joy, love and laughter. We were always excited to visit Grandma's house! Grandma's house meant hugs, kisses, treats, and cable TV for most of the Grandkids except Ryan, Barry and I. There were only two channels in Marwayne when were kids! I was the first grandchild, which meant I got to take many trips to Marwayne with Dad and Uncle Barry when they would come back for weddings. Usually the first thing to do once getting to Marwayne was to go to Swansons grocery store and try to surprise Grandma where she worked, even though she knew we were coming. Coming with my Dad and Uncle Barry meant I got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa while they were out at functions. The twins, Ryan and Barry, made three Grandchildren and quite a handful. We loved spending the summers and many, many trips to Marwayne. We spent summers around town and would take trips out to the lake with Grandma and Grandpa to meet Uncle Bill and Aunt Muriel, where we would eat all of Aunt Muriel's homemade buns. I still recall special trips to Lloyd when Grandma would take "her boys" - including Uncle Brian at that time - into town to see movies such as the Coalminer's Daughter. We all have our own special memories of that little house in Marwayne - Sara had a favourite dog toy she would continuously pull around grandma's house. There was the garden, the electric lawn mower, the tent trailer, the attic and that cold cellar that we thought was so cool when we got to see it. When we got to Grandma's house, after the hellos we'd often cut right through Sandra's McAdam's yard to the park where we spent hours and hours. At Grandma and Grandpa's 40th Anniversary we sang "I love my Grand-pa-pa" and "We are going to Grandma's house". It was a special treat that evening for us to watch Grandma perform. In later years when Grandma would play the piano for us, we were in awe of how her hands would move across the keys, even though Grandma would say "Oh that was no good." When Scott was born, grandma was in the delivery room with Aunty Patsy. As a little boy, as soon as little Scotty walked through the door, him and Grandma would get his candy container out of the drawer and then fill it with candies from the stash in the bedroom. All of Grandma's homes were full of family pictures. We could hardly fit them all in her room at Oliver Lodge! Grandma loved the regular albums sent from Victoria. And she always had her full sized pictures of her Anderson kids on top of the TV. She had the most recent school picture of our little blondies, except the one-year when she didn't like Scott's shaved head, so she skipped that picture and kept the one from the year before. It was great joy when Grandma was able to come out to Victoria in the summer of 2004 with Michelle, thinking she was coming to visit our family, Uncle Barry, Auntie Irene, and Uncle Brian. Once getting out there she got a big surprise of having her brother, Uncle Carol, Auntie Marie, their son Doug and Doug's son Kyle drive up from the United States to surprise her. And soon she also got the surprise of Auntie Patsy of coming out to join us. DARREN (Son of Barry & Irene MacDonald): We loved our time at Grandma's house in Marwayne. She always had the favourites in stock for each Grandchild when they'd come to visit. Grape quench and ginger ale for Bobby, Ryan and Barry. Cheese slices for Ryan. Sandy, Sara and Scott loved the ego waffles that they would have as soon as they got through the door, no matter what hour they arrived. Sara maintains that they never taste as good as they did at Grandma's house. We had some favourite meals at Grandma's - her meatloaf, creamed onions, or California goulash. She whipped up some favourite suppers. Grandma always had a candy dish near by, marshmallow cookies in the cupboard, chocolate rolls on top of the microwave, the variety pack of Kit Kats, Coffee Crisp and Arrow on the side door of the fridge and McCain's chocolate cake in the freezer. The candy dishes always held Werthers, Campinos and Milky Candy. And the Doulbemint and Freedent were on her dresser, but you only took half a piece at a time, 'cause that's all your really needed! You could always have any treat you wanted at Grandma's, as long as you said please and thank you! Grandma's hair and nails were always perfectly done. Her coffee table by her chair always had her nail clippers and file, her favorite magazines, Jergens hand lotion and a bowl of candy. She had a supply of Kleenex in her hand and in her cardigan pockets. And her hand never stopped moving -unconsciously her fingers were always going. We remember her hair net in the shower; the scarves she would wear outside. Her little sayings - "Can you do such and such? You're younger than I am." Or, "Darren, would you bring your grandma a blanket?" To which you'd always be happy to reply, "sure Grandma." Buffy and Grandma were a package deal. And we all loved that friendly, mild mannered dog. Grandma drove the big old Grand Marquis, which was always kept in perfect shape. Mark would tell her she needed to drive a bit faster, but she went at her own speed. Grandma taught us all to play cards; sooooo many games of canasta, rummy, and cribbage. She always had time for a game of cards with her Grandkids. Michelle would have the odd cry over losing a game, but she still loved playing cards with Grandma. We loved watching shows with Grandma. Ryan had a mild addiction to soap operas after one summer at Grandma's. But if a Blue Jay's game, Oiler's game, or any sport was on TV, we were right in there watching with Grandma. And if two favourite shows were on at once, Grandma had the VCR set to record. We rarely saw a tough side of Grandma, but if chores needed to get done before going to play, then she always made us finish them first. We spent many rodeo's and camping trips at Lee Park. The Ramsay family reunion was a special chance for Grandma to be with all her grandkids and she loved every minute. MICHELLE (Daughter of Barry & Irene MacDonald): It's been nearly 19 years since our Grandpa passed away but since then, we've always been fortunate to have Uncle Bill as a second Grandfather. And as Grandma's health deteriorated and she moved out of town to Saskatoon, Aunt Muriel was like another Grandmother. And their grandkids are as close as first cousins to us. We are so lucky to have them. Well when Grandma moved to Saskatoon our relationship changed from one her taking care of us, to us taking care of our dear Grandma. But she was always, always gracious, kind and thankful. We would pick her up for Sunday supper trips to Martensville or for birthdays or holidays. One of the last special trips that Grandma made was to Darren and Angie's wedding. When we took Grandma out for her birthday at Chianti's Restaurant one year she was delighted with the live music and the saxophone player. So much so that she managed to get up for a dance! One occasion at Uncle Barry & Aunty Irene's, Sara wanted to mix grandma a drink. Of course she wanted a virgin Caesar (not a surprise as our family has a mild obsession with Clamato juice!). She wanted it to be just perfect for Grandma, so as soon as she had taken a sip she whispered to her mom, "Ask Grandma how her drink tastes!" Grandma replied to Sara's delight, "Just wonderful!" This was not surprising as there were very few things that Grandma didn't find "Just Fine" or "Just Wonderful". To help Grandma in and out of her chair she got a new motorized recliner. But Grandma would sometimes forget that she could control the position of the chair with the remote so we would come to visit and find her sitting half standing. We would put her back in a comfortable position despite her saying that she was "Just Fine". In the Franklin Sara and Sandy would sometimes say "Grandma, do you want any coffee or cookies?" which would give them a chance to check out the treats on the Mezzanine. It was a special treat when Grandma would buy us supper at the Franklin. And when she sat down on the Grand Piano and played, it was special event for all. When we visited Grandma during trips to Oliver Lodge in the past couple years, you didn't have much conversation with her. But that was ok. Her face would light up when a family member arrived and sometimes she would say "Oh, it's my girls!" or "Oh, it's my boys!" She was our comfort and she loved having her family around. Sandra got to make a special appearance in her grad dress this summer so that she could get pictures with Grandma. It was always an event when the great grandchildren came by to visit Grandma. Caitlin got to take a special trip from Victoria to visit Great Grandma this summer. When the youngest, Hannah, was around, Grandma wouldn't take her eyes off her for the entire visit. It was like Grandma was drawn to the new, young life and it mesmerized her. And Grandma was still protective of her Grandkids. One day she was holding newborn Hannah, when a lady who would roll endlessly up and down the halls of Oliver Lodge poked her head into the room. "Oh, what a nice baby!" the lady said. "Can I hold her?" Grandma shook her head and politely declined, but her tone and the look on her face was so much as to say, "There's no way you're holding my great grandchild!" As Grandma's health declined, her true character still showed though. Even when she wasn't totally connected with what was going on around her she still always, always, had a warm, gentle, loving nature about her. She would still smile and give a little wave to those she passed as we rolled her down for supper. The ladies at the homes all loved Grandma saying "What a sweetheart. We just love her!" And "Audrey was so, so gracious. Always so gracious and so thankful." And when you asked her how she was, even when the "I'm fine" took so much effort to come out of her mouth it was still said whole-heartedly, and with a smile. I think that a true testament of Grandma and Grandpa are their children. When I stop to think of the kindness, gentleness, and lovingness that her children embody, I know my Grandma was a wonderful woman. When I think of Uncle Bob's deep joyous laugh and gentleness, Dad's giving nature and patient manner, Aunty Patsy's affection for her family and the joy and love that spills from her endlessly; my Uncle Brian's easy-going, caring nature, and genuineness. When I think of the amazing people they are, and what a wonderful family we have, I know what an amazing women my Grandmother was. And not just in how she raised her children, but in the person that she was. Grandma was always so proud of us and happy to see us. We got a card in the mail for every birthday and Christmas, usually with some spending money in it. Every card was always signed "All my love, Grandma MacDonald". And we always had ALL her love. When we arrived at Grandma's as a rule we had to give hugs and kisses. If you didn't do that within 30 seconds of walking through the door, you had better get over there and give Grandma a kiss! And when you left you always gave her a kiss goodbye and she would always kiss you back. And even up until the very last time we saw her, when we gave her a kiss and said "I love you", - no matter how unaware she was of anything else - you knew she knew the meaning of those words by the look in her eyes, and she would always reply "Love you too." And she did. She lived love. And her legacy is one of love. We love you Grandma. So very, very much. Donations in memory of Audrey may be made to the Oliver Lodge Special Care Home in Saskatoon or to the Marwayne Cemetery Fund.