Obituary of Fred Nakonechny

Fred will be sadly missed his wife: Cecilia; his children: Vance & Wendi Nakonechny, Verna & Darcy McFarlane, and Ivan & Tina Nakonechny; his grandchildren: Allyx, Hanna, Nathaniel, Ian, and Owen; his brothers: Dave Nakoneshny, Harvey & Cheryl Nakonechny, and Lawrence Nakonechny; his sisters: Marie & Fred Gerwing, Emelia & Reg Gerwing, and Sylvia & John Cook. Donations in memory of Fred may be made to Lloydminster Palliative Care or a charity of the donors choice. EULOGY FOR FRED NAKONECHNY My name is Vance Nakonechny, it's an honour for me on behalf of our family to tell you a little something about my dad, Fred. Dad was born June 15, 1941 to Paul and Annie Nakonechny, he grew up on the family farm near Lanigan. He was the middle child of nine children. Dad helped with chores on the farm and enjoyed going to school, even if it was a "three mile walk uphill, both ways". Fred did well in school and skipped a grade eventually graduating from high school in Lake Lenore, where he lived with his older sister Marie and her family, at age 16. He must have been a scrawny kid, as he often mentioned how he didn't weigh 100 lbs until his graduation. After a year at St. Peter's College, then Teachers College at U of Saskatchewan he took his first teaching job in Wainwright, Alberta. He began teaching grades 9 to 11 at the ripe old age of 18. His principal at the time also owned a bar in Wainwright. He would let Dad in but not serve him, just so the students would think he was older than he actually was. He later taught in Muenster and Yellowknife before settling here in Lloydminster in 1979. Dad's occupation was a teacher and that will be my focus, not of any educational methods, but what he has taught all of us: You learn by doing: Fred was a pretty handy guy. Whether it was woodworking, or fixing cars, he would always give it some thought, then dive right into the project. He liked to work with his hands, he would build fences, decks, he finished the basements in many of the homes we lived in. When he taught us a skill, he would show us once - then it was our turn, with him patiently watching and offering his advice. It must have been very tempting to take over and do it himself; but he knew we needed to learn to do it for ourselves. It wasn't always smooth, I remember Mom being a little upset at having carburetor parts all over her kitchen table on more than one occasion - but that was needed at the time to help us learn. He was very proud one Christmas watching Ivan build Mom and Dad a computer - he learned by doing. Fred always said "It's OK to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. If you make the same mistake over and over again I have to question your level of intelligence." Just a week ago he was showing Owen and Ian how to use his apple peeler, happy with the way his two little "rascals" worked together and learned so quickly. Make use of your God given talents: Dad was very proud of the musical ability of his children and grandchildren. On many occasions he would mention, "The kids get all their musical talent from me - I don't have any left and Cis still has hers." He always encouraged Allyx with her artwork and Hanna with her singing and dancing. He loved it when Ivan would play a faster song on the piano, especially "Old Time Rock n' Roll". He was extremely proud of Verna's amazing voice. When she would sing the psalm in church, I would sneak a glance over at Dad, he would always have a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. When we didn't feel like practicing our instruments as kids, Dad would remind us how lucky we were to be blessed with our abilities. Pretty hard to say no to practicing after that. Dad himself was blessed with an endless patience, a sharp mind and a very quick wit - he never seemed stumped for something to say. Enjoy the simple things in life, and have fun. One of the few times Dad would become impatient was if he had to wait while the Korte Sisters practiced singing. "Are you girls that bad that you need to practice for 7 hours?" However, if he could have a drink with Ken or go fishing while they practiced - the ladies could take as long as they liked. He was ALWAYS happy in a fishing boat. He was patient with youngsters, untangling lines or snagged hooks, his face would brighten up no matter who caught the fish. I think he was more excited than Nathaniel was after he caught his first fish - for about 3 weeks after he would tell me in every phone call, "Did I tell you Nathaniel caught his first fish?" Two words described his joy: fish fry. Dad was especially fond of pickerel and perch. Another simple pleasure was picking berries. When we were growing up, I thought Dad possessed some kind of internal berry radar, he would pack us up in the big yellow station wagon, throw the ice cream pails in the back and start to drive. Invariably we would end up in a huge patch of saskatoons, raspberries, blackberries, or any other kind of hanging fruit. About 20 years ago, Dad and I were playing golf on Father's Day (golf wasn't his favourite game but he indulged me and off we went). On the first tee, I hit to the left, Dad to the right. We both walked to our second shot. I hit my ball and waited for Dad to come out of the trees. I waited, and waited. After looking back at the groups behind us I ventured over to where Dad was. His ball was on the edge of the fairway, I could hear Dad rustling in the trees. I found him gorging himself on raspberries, juice running between his fingers, filling the pockets of his golf bag. I urged him to hurry up all these players were behind us - "Let them through! It's a gold mine in here!" Dad loved to have fun - he was always up for a prank, loved a good joke and was able to laugh at himself. He loved to play and watch all kinds of sports. As a young man he played centrefield and hit lead off for a very talented Muenster Red Sox baseball team. He enjoyed playing goal for the Burr Tigers, and Yellowknife Chalk Dusters. His goal tending experience was evident when watching an NHL game. Eventually the goalie would make a glove save, Dad would comment, he shot it right in his glove. The replay would usually prove him right. When we bothered Dad during our sometimes obnoxious teen years, he always had a quick, intelligent comeback: "You have a big belly" - "It's all muscle" "Your white hair makes you look old" - "You kids gave made me grey" (We checked the photo albums he had dark hair when Verna and I were around, so you figure it out) "You have a crooked finger" - "that's so I can point at you from around the corner." He was never at a loss for words. Fred loved to pull pranks, apparently he played a large role in "kidnapping" the bride at Antoinette's wedding and incurred the wrath of Grandma Prokosch, but hey…. there was a hockey game to watch and he didn't want her to miss it. At St. Pete's he organized a group of students to lift and move Fr. Gregory's VW bug exactly in between 2 large trees. After he retired, he would work as substitute teacher - if he knew the teacher well they were fair game. He would often give away all the teachers reward candy, or empty the contents of their desk and hide it away. He developed such an infamous reputation, one day the staff told a teacher that Fred did something to his bicycle. The teacher was so paranoid he walked his bike all the way home, afraid of what would happen - Dad never touched it, the best trick is the one not even played. Dad loved to socialize, when he was principal, he thought it was valuable to host a party to get to know his staff on more than a professional level. A good time was often had by all - as Verna and I can attest, it can be emotionally scarring watching your junior high teachers contesting a leg wrestle on your living room floor, with your Dad wanting to take on the winner. Later in life, he was VERY sociable during the winters spent in Arizona. He and Mom enjoyed the "Buddy Beer" program and afternoon dips in the pool with their new southern friends. Be patient and nurturing - plant a garden. Fred began his passion for gardening early in life, as a boy he dug a little garden patch at Elmsville school, planting his "crop" and tending to the weeds. It was a passion which stayed with him through his life, he never hesitated trying a new crop, corn in Yellowknife, grapes in Lloydminster, he enjoyed the fruits of his labour. You can see his flowers on the inside of the prayer cards and arranged beautifully on his casket (by Tina). After one of my many "gardening consult" panic calls, he asked me, "Do you enjoying gardening or do it because I do?" I replied, "I love new garden potatoes". Dad said "Oh, Vance there is so much more." He was so right (as usual). Have faith. Dad lived his faith every day, he led by example. He served the church as a reader, Eucharistic minister, acolyte, parish council member, and led Bible study groups and welcomed new Catholics leading the RCIA program. He reminded us the Bible is the best book ever written, and contained the answers to so many of the problems we have. His faith was shown in his last days, he wasn't afraid of dying; he looked forward to his eternal reward. Love your family and friends. The biggest lesson Dad taught us was to love each other. He met the love of his life, Cis, after seeing her perform on stage, in 1964. Mom described Dad as a perfect gentleman, opening the car door, making her sisters jealous by bringing her flowers, they were married in 1967. Fred spent the rest of their marriage making Mom happy. One of his final pieces of advice to us was to put your spouse's needs above your own. If both spouses did that you would have a successful marriage. He showed us how to do that every day. In June, Fred and Cis celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary. In preparing for this day, we examined Dad's wedding band. The engraving on the band was worn off, and the band itself was woefully thin. Ivan commented it was from 45 years of trying to crack the combination. Fred was very selfless, when it came to our family. He was devoted to his children and spent his time as a chauffeur, tutor, coach, and advisor. He was very giving of his talents. The last lesson he taught us was courage. It was not easy for him the last few years. He watched his body wither away, though his mind remained sharp. When it was suggested he put a shirt on over his skinny frame for some visitors to the hospital, he said" Why? I'm proud of my physique." He loved teasing the nurses who took such good care of him at the end. He commented the medication the last few days made him feel like he was sitting with Mom under the large evergreens at St. Pete's when they were dating. I know he was in more pain than he ever expressed. In his final days, we all had a chance to say our goodbyes, one his grandchildren wrote in a letter to him, "I know that in time I'll be able to see you a bunch and you can tell me everything about life." When his time came, he was free of pain and slipped away peacefully when no one was watching; just as he wished. Even towards the end; he was more concerned about us, than he was about himself. He leaves a huge hole in our family, but he left us with instructions to fill that hole. He leaves us with the following, from his exact words to his grandchildren last Sunday: "It's OK to cry, but don't cry for me. I want to leave you with some words to remember from Grandpa. Be nice to each other. I've learned I was happiest when I did something nice for my brothers and sisters. Be sure to forgive one another. Bottom line, be nice to the people around you and life will be good." We will miss you dearly Dad, we love you very much.