Obituary of Amie Gray-Carroll

Amie Louise Gray-Carroll passed away in Edmonton, Alberta on Saturday, August 3, 2013 at the age of 34 years. Amie was born on November 10, 1978 in Melfort, Saskatchewan to Louise & Herman Gray. Amie will be sadly missed by: her husband, Rod; her dog, Ryder; her parents, Louise & Herman Gray; sisters, Brandi Gray and Tabitha Ballan (Jamie); parents-in-law, Chris and Janice Carroll; sister-in-law, Natasha Kinshella (Adam); grandmothers, Anne Lacey and Edith Lorenz; nieces and nephews, Dallyn, Chayce, Kamryn, Keira, Jake and Hadley; as well as many aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. Donations in memory of Amie may be made to the SPCA; Lloydminster Kinette Club; or the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. EULOGIES: My name is Brenda Reifferscheid and today I will try to do my best to help everyone celebrate the life of Amie Gray-Carroll. Amie was called to heaven just after midnight Friday night going into Saturday morning. Her husband, Rod and her dog Ryder (or son) were by her side. She was in The University Hospital in Edmonton. Sunday morning, the family asked me to do the eulogy. Amie's sister, Tabitha worded it like this, "to tell the greatest life story". Although this is one of the hardest things I will ever do, it is also such an honor to be asked. Amie wanted this day to be a celebration, a time of happy reflection, laughter, friendship and love. I will try to honor her wishes now. My link with Amie started in 1983 in Waseca. Amie was 4 years old. I was a neighbor, a friend of the family, Amie's nurse and ultimately as Amie grew into the beautiful young woman we all know, I became a personal friend to her as well. I gave the speech as she celebrated her new set of lungs in 2001 and a few months ago I emailed her and told her I would give the speech when she got her next set. God gave her her next new set of lungs on Saturday and I am giving her the speech I promised her. When I first met the Grays, I heard of Amie's illness, cystic fibrosis. My first thought when I met this little, tiny pale girl, was "Oh that poor girl". If only I had had a crystal ball at that time. Little did I know, that "poor little girl" would hold such a special place in my heart for the rest of my life. And little did I know how she would touch and influence so many people. In the past few days, I have been looking at her facebook and reading all the comments and memories and messages to the family. And by the way, so has the family and it means so much to them. In her short 34 years on this earth, she touched so many. Some words that are repeatedly written describing Amie are: inspirational, positive, brave, thankful, angel on earth, earned her wings, eyes that sparkle, big smile, precious, strong, vibrant, beautiful, sweet and amazing. Amie has had such a positive effect on everyone and definitely "stood out in a crowd". Here is her story: Amie Louise Gray—Carroll was born to Herman and Louise Gray on November 10, 1978 in Melfort Sask. Amie was only a week old when doctors diagnosed her with CF. Herman and Louise were devastated. They had just been told that their precious baby had a fatal, hereditary disease and her life expectancy at that time would be 12 years. Amie, you sure showed them. Good on ya. She went on to play softball, joined the girl guides, took part in track and field, candy-striped, and much more. Her childhood was normal in many ways. Amie was the first of three girls. Her sister Brandi, aka sister was born a year later and Tabitha six years after that. As cystic fibrosis babies excrete salt through their skin, Louise gave each new addition their first kiss to show how much she loved them, but also to see if they tasted salty. But Brandi and Taba didn't have that salty taste. In 1980, the family moved from Melfort to the Lashburn area and finally settled into their home in the village of Waseca. As most of you know, Waseca was a little village with a big heart (as their sign says). And another old saying certainly rang true there as well, "lt takes a village to raise a child". Everyone knew each other and kids were welcome to visit back and forth in everyone's homes. Amie's next door neighbors, Gordon and Bonnie Johnstone and their three girls, Chrissy, Sarah and Kelly became an extended family. It was as though Amie had three more sisters and they were all very close. The six did a lot of playing, laughing, dancing, singing and probably got into a bit of mischief as well. My three kids joined into this happy circle as they were babysat by Bonnie. My boys especially liked to hang out there and loved it when the girls came over in their bikinis to swim in our pool all summer long. Amie and her sisters were famous for their lemonade stands. All summer, they would set up their stand in someone's yard or would move to a spot between the post office and store where business was good. Every kid on a bike would get lured in to buy a glass of something cold on a hot day. And who could resist those Gray and Johnstone cuties. They were so sweet. But Amie set her goals higher. She set out one day to sell something bigger and better. She wanted to make money. She packed up her kittens and went door to door selling cats for $5.00 a cat. No one could resist those big sparkling eyes and big smile. l think she sold all of them. She loved her animals. She always had a cat in her arms. Her best pet as a child was her cat Minnie. She spent so much time loving that cat. She took her everywhere and introduced her to everyone. it was her pride and joy. Amie grew up in a loving family. She is described as "The protector" of her younger sisters. She was the best role model anyone could ever ask for. Her battle with CF was a tough one and Amie struggled as a child with her breathing so much. She would get frequent chest infections and pneumonia. That was when Louise would phone me to come and see Amie and talk her into going into the hospital. I would go to find Amie under the blankets in bed with a cough that sounded like it came from her toes and shivering with a fever. But as you guessed it, with that great big beautiful smile even at her sickest times. She promised she would go to the hospital if l came and started her lV, so that is what we did. Amie was part of our family at Maidstone Hospital. 99% of the nursing staff were mothers and liked to treat Amie like one of their own. When Amie was little, it was a time when nurses could still have time to do all those extras. Amie told her family she liked how we would run her tub for her, give her massages, and find her extra treats that no one else got. We liked to joke and laugh with her. One spring, a mother duck made a nest under her hospital window and layed eggs. All the nurses made it a "pool" guessing what day they would hatch and how many would survive. Amie gave back as well when she candy-striped at the hospital. She was so happy to be able to help out alongside the staff that had cared for her. But then she used her position to play a trick on her cousin, Shyla. She showed Shyla a pager and told her she was on-call as a stripper. She then showed her a bracelet that said candy striper and told Shyla, that they made a typo and that it should read Candy, the stripper. Her cousin, l heard really fell for it for awhile. As Amie got older, her pneumonias became more frequent and she missed a lot of school as she needed to spend more and more time in hospital. She was "famous". We called her "our little Amie" and when we transferred her by ambulance to Saskatoon for bigger and better treatment, as we pushed the ambulance stretcher into that big RUH, everyone knew her and called her by name. l am sure they all still remember her. That is what Amie does best. We all worried about her, but she had a way of distracting you and putting the attention back onto someone else and made each and every person feel special and loved. Her positive, caring, loving spirit was there, even at such a young age. There came a day, I still remember so well. Amie was very sick and our doctors were talking about how critical she was. She was being sent to Saskatoon as they were afraid she was going to need to be put on a machine to breathe. That was a very scary and sad day for all of the nurses who had grown to love the girl. I remember thinking it could be the last goodbye. We didn't see Amie for weeks, maybe months. But soon I heard of a new treatment that could save Amie's life. It was a live donor double lung transplant. If she didn't try, Amie would not live much longer. Her dad was a perfect match and a good friend, Rick Behnke also stepped up to the plate. They would each give Amie a lobe to replace her diseased and dying lungs. If surgery was a success, it bought her more time, if not she died. Amie was 21 years old. She chose to try. When Amie went for surgery, I was in Florida with my family. It was Feb 2001, a time before everyone carried cell phones and communicated by social media. I remember landing in Edmonton and went straight to a pay phone to call the hospital. I was shaking as I wasn't sure what the results would be. I first asked if they had a patient named Amie Gray. Even the receptionist who answered the phone sounded excited to tell me there sure was. Amie had touched another group of people. When I talked to the nurse on Amie's unit, I knew they would not give me any info as I was not a family member, so I just asked if I could talk to one of Amie's family members. The very excited nurse blurted out, "We are so excited Amie is sitting up and starting to eat a little." Amie's contagious, positive energy was back at work again. A few months later we had a celebration of Amie's second life at Silver Lake. She had beat the odds. Her sparkling eyes and bright smile were bigger and brighter than ever. Amie was so happy. She was told that the transplant would extend her life five years. Once again, good on ya, Amie. Because of the gift of life she received from her dad and Rick, she got to see an extra 4537 more sunrises and sunsets, a chance to marry and experience a joyful life with the man of her dreams, experience a family of her own with him and her son (puppy) Ryder, start a company with Rod and excelled at that, meet and spoil her 3 nieces and 3 nephews and touch so many lives in so many ways. And she did it all with her dad and Rick's love wrapped around her heart. In conclusion, I am so proud and honored to have been even a small part of Amie's journey. As a nurse of 30 years I have met many exceptional people who touch your heart. And of all those exceptional people, there is a small group of them that I can count on my hands that have changed my life and I can say that they have made me a better person for knowing them. Amie is at the top of that list and I don't think anyone will ever replace that spot. Hi, for anyone who may not know I am Tabitha Ballan, Amie's youngest sister. This will be one of the hardest things I will ever have to do but I feel like it's my story to tell. Man, I knew I should have dipped into some of Amie's meds. As all of you now know at age 21 Amie was given a second chance at life. This was one of the scariest things our family had to face. We are forever thankful to my Dad and Rick for giving Amie this second chance at life. The night before her surgery, we had supper with close friends and family and I just had a calming feeling and knew at this moment that everything was going to be ok. Feb. 27, 2001 was the first day of her new life, she woke up and was able to take her first deep breath and from that moment didn't waste any time and lived her life to the fullest. Volunteering and helping others was very very important to Amie. An organization very close to Amie's heart was the Kinettes, by joining the Kinettes she was able to give back to the community the same way the Kinettes had once helped out our family. Their main focus is fundraising for CF. Amie was always so thoughtful of her friends, family and even strangers. I remember at Christmas time her buying gifts for less fortunate children who she had never met, just to make them smile. Any chance she had she would give and give. With Amie's new lungs she travelled as much as she could. She went to Newfoundland, BC, Paris, Mexico, Jamaica and to Vegas several times. It was on our sister trip to Vegas when I realized how much her quality of life had improved since her transplant. She was able to walk, walk and walk around Vegas. Even her and Brandi were up until 6 am our last night there and we had to fly home by 7 am! Thanks to the Kinettes, one of her biggest dreams came true while on this trip….she got to see Céline Dion in concert. It was such a great experience and I will never forget it. Another very special day of Amie's life was her wedding day. It was such an amazing day and I will never forget how beautiful she looked. Rod made Amie so happy and they had such a great life together. Amie's 3 nieces and 3 nephews were so important to her. She would spoil them any chance she got and would always talk about taking them to Disneyland. I promise you Amie I will try to be as wonderful of an auntie as you were, but those will be some very hard shoes to fill. Amie loved animals so much, Ryder was a son to her. She took care of him right until the very end. In the hours before she passed she was even feeding him ice chips just to make sure he was happy. The last days I spent with you I had the same calming feeling as I did that day before your transplant, I just know you are in a better place now, breathing freely without any tubes, oxygen and IVs. You fought so hard right until the end, your last week even when you weren't feeling that great you were still requesting physio to try anything to make yourself stronger. You were such a fighter!! My last visit with you was one of the best, I will forever cherish that time with you. I love you so much Amie and don't worry I will continue protecting our family just like you have always done. And I'll even try to get along with sister cause I know how much that would mean to you. In that last week I spent with you, I could see that you were already turning into an angel. You were so beautiful right up until the very end. I know Amie was so grateful for everything her doctors and nurses have done for her. In the hours before her passing she made sure to tell her doctor just how thankful she was for him. She never ever took anyone for granted. Although I was not always a firm believer, I now know heaven is for real and you are a beautiful angel watching over us. Don't worry Amie I am not going to dwell on your passing, I will smile every day for you because I know that's what you would have wanted. And I hope everyone else will do the same. Love you so much and all our memories will always be close to my heart.